4/10/2014

Locked and Freed


"I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you." - Mae West

I think everybody (with predilection to the ladies), have been through the phase of owning a legit diary that has a lock and key. People who went through that stage must have probably started each entry with the cliche, "Dear Diary.." or was it just me? Anyway, I was trying to fix my drawer today when I chanced upon a diary I owned circa 2009. It is not much. It is definitely not something that would amount to Anne Frank's, nor be as funny as that of the Wimpy Kid's. It was a gift from someone who used to be special to me. This diary held all of my teenage angst, rants, dreams, romances and heartbreaks. My hormonal pettiness will be forever immortalized through its pages. 

I fumbled through the cover, through the sides and found that it was locked. Only a special key would be able to open the lock. I could find the key and open the diary in an instant if I wanted to..but I initially lacked the courage for a few minutes. I was scared to read whatever was written inside, because I knew it will take me back to the most beautiful as well as the ugliest times that I had. I began thinking twice and thrice, then I suddenly found myself reaching for the key, at the verge of unraveling the thoughts that I inked through the pages. I inserted the little key, turned it clockwise and I heard a click. The lock gave way and I was finally able to open it. The first entry was dated January 21, 2009. I stared at what I still consider as my cursive writing, heaved a sigh and started to read. 

Flipping through the pages and taking in all the entries made me smile, frown and cringe in between. It was as if my life as a 16-year old high school flashed before my eyes. I was able to imagine myself in my school jumper, writing away as if my life depended on it. I can't hardly believe that I was able to say and dream of such things at that age, furthermore the audacity to cuss and rant at the simplest of things. I was surprised at the amount of fantasies I had, moreover the love I had at that time. I allowed myself to be immersed in every entry, which started with a girl's high school romance then slowly made its transition to heartbreaks and regrets. The later entries brought tiny tears to the corner of my eyes and I can't help but scold myself for being so naive back then. The last entry was dated February 14, 2011. 

I closed the diary, returned its lock and placed it back to the spot where I found it. Come to think of it, the point of reading my diary was not all about remorse nor the qualm. It was actually about making me realize how much everything has changed. My emotions, beliefs and dreams back then helped me as I grew to the person I am today. There are people you still remember, but the feelings are not there anymore. It's like you take the past with you and you leave it at the same time. I was able to pick up the good things, then I left the bad ones behind. The process of selecting what to take and what to leave behind was not easy. I had to go back and forth, relapses in between, until I learned what was best for me. In the past, I was like a sinking ship, drowning in my ruefulness, the emotional baggage pushing me further underneath. It took me long to find that light, the saving grace that buoyed me up to the surface so I can breathe. The air that I was able to seep in allowed me to grow. I admit that I was once a spiteful and bitter person, and I terribly feel embarrassed whenever I remember it. Human nature, once in a while, allows us to feel negativism. The negative feelings that I had actually allowed me to appreciate the simple joys that I am experiencing at the present. 

At my age, I still occasionally go back to my petty side, but I am now able to pull myself together in the pursuit of becoming the bigger person. Just because I stopped writing then, that does not mean I shall cease forever. Perhaps the next time I jot down my thoughts in ink, it will all be about my fresh hopes, new love and fulfilled dreams. Like all locks in diaries, the struggles we encounter serve the purpose of keeping us grounded and in place. However, it will always give us the freedom that we need. 

Avec amour,


3/25/2014

Lacey Daisy

I can't believe that my last post was on the first day of 2014. Now, I'm here typing a blog entry two months later, fresh from the end of second semester of senior year. Time flies when you're busy. A lot has happened in the past few months, which would explain why I haven't updated as much as I wanted to. I'm officially done with the "stay in the classroom and hear lectures" phase, because I'm entering clinical internship two weeks from now! I'm having jitters here and there, but there is no turning back now since this is what I really wanted in the first place.

Anyway, since I just passed my subjects and I was a happy girl last Sunday, I decided to dress extra dainty for church. Paired it with a bare face and red stained lips! 


Dress: Forever 21 Shoes: Solemate

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to update as much when internship starts, but I'll try to insert my thoughts here once in a while. The coming months will be challenging and stressful. I need all the luck in the world. How about some virtual love from you guys? x

Avec amour,


1/01/2014

Adieu, 2013!

2013 has been a roller coaster ride for me just like all the past years. My family, school and social life were all faced with ups and downs that added color to my year. But that's just the very essence of life and growing up isn't it? No matter what the year has brought me, how many friends and enemies I made, I'm ready to embrace new things. The mistakes I stumbled upon along the way will be taken as lessons learned. No regrets.

I know for sure that 2014 will have a lot in store for me. I'm ready for all the changes and all the other shenanigans. I have my fingers crossed for a good year! Happy new year, everyone! x

Let me show you my 2013 in photos:














Avec amour,

12/31/2013

Pristine



Dress: Blanc Et Noir | Ballet flats: Parisian Comfy

Hello, Blogger!! I can't believe I haven't blogged for so long. I've been so busy with stuff for school that I have actually neglected I have a site such as this. Thank goodness for the holidays, I am finally able to update!

Anyway, here's my Christmas day outfit. I opted for a simple, clean look so I went for a white dress. My dad actually had a grand time in picking this dress for me since he thinks I look angelic (lol) in it. I decided to pair it with a pair of ballet flats from Parisian. So what do you think? 

Disclaimer: I'm totally not a fashionista 

Avec amour,


9/15/2013

21st Street

Changes are really inevitable, so as the need to try out something new. Since I just turned 21 last Thursday, it quite fits that I do something that is unusual and unexpected of me. It really never hurts to dab into new stuff, right? Screw what the others might say.

So what's the "new" thing exactly? Street photography that is. My friend Abby convinced me to do this. I was skeptic at first, since I'm only used to the "all smiles" peg and I was never the edgy type. That inkling in me that I must try won, though.

All the photos were taken yesterday along Mendiola, Legarda and MalacaƱang. I have to admit that I felt 100x timid and extra conscious at first.. but since I was already there, I went for it!

P.S. I'm the awkward type of girl, hence the poses. I know Tyra Banks won't be pleased.

LOL.

Photographer: Dek Constantino
MUA: Abby Maralit

And since I just turned 21, I would like to thank all the people who remembered my special day! Thank you also to those I shared all my years with. Fingers crossed and hoping that I'll be a little more wiser now that I'm legit legal. x

Avec amour,



9/14/2013


LOL. 
Photographer: Dek Constantino
MU: Abby Maralit

Top: H&M, Shorts: Levi's